I’m done with complaining. It can destroy your life. The more you complain, the more you find things to complain about. When you entertain people who complain you start to attract the very things you don’t want in your life.
These are four ways gratitude will elevate your life.
1. New Opportunities
Gratitude can create new opportunities for you. When you thank people for doing something for you, or giving you a gift, they are more likely to want to do it again. People love being appreciated. They like it when someone recognises the effort they put into doing something. This makes them more prone to want to maintain contact, or offer you new opportunities for you to work together. Saying thank you will cause people to see you as a nice person. They are also more likely to give you a good reference or referral.
2. Improved Health
Grateful people suffer from fewer aches and pains. That’s because people who are grateful a more likely to take care of their health by exercising and following a healthy diet. Focusing on gratitude also reduces their interaction with people who complain or focus on negative things. The benefits are improved physical and mental health.
3. Improved Self-Esteem
A 2014 study published in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that gratitude increased athlete’s self-esteem, which is an essential component to optimal performance.
4. Elevates Your Mood
The best way to stop complaining is to learn to be grateful for the good things in your life. Gratitude elevates your mood.
Make practising gratitude a part of your daily routine and life to enjoy:
During the course of your life people will say or do things that will upset you. It happens because of two things:
1. How something was said.
2. How we choose to interpret it.
Scorpions don’t sting because they have something against you. They sting because it is in their nature. – Rejoice Denhere
Our source of pain comes from the meaning we assign to a thing. If you assign a negative meaning, then the comments or actions will hurt. On the other hand, if you choose to assign a meaning that empowers you, the result is that you can turn the tables in your favour.
Recognise that, like scorpions who sting because it is in their nature, people sometimes say or do hurtful things because it is in their nature. You can’t change them but you can choose how you respond.
So, don’t be offended because it depletes your energy, it lowers your vibration, and you end up stooping to their level. You end up attracting their negative energy into your life.
When you notice this negative character trait in someone stay away from them. When they try to pull you down, rise higher.
We are all in the same storm but we are not in the same boat.
They lost their job during the pandemic because business was bad. Now they’re struggling with mental health issues as a result.
They’re leaving their job voluntarily because business is booming. They’re struggling to cope with the increased demands of the job and it’s having a negative effect on their mental health.
Which would you rather be?
That’s not a fair question. There should be a third option. You wouldn’t want to be in either of those two situations. The third, ideal option would be: earning a good living in a booming industry and whilst enjoying a balanced healthy lifestyle without mental health issues to deal with.
I used to spend a lot of time making comparisons. I was fortunate to have a mother who did not allow herself to get caught in that web. One of the things she would say was – Be yourself. That’s hard when you don’t know how.
Comparing ourselves to others seems to be in our DNA. We do it because it helps us assess how we measure up against other people.
We compare ourselves with people who we believe are better than we are in life or a specific area. These people are also the ones we usually choose as mentors because they are where we want to be. This is called “upward social comparison.”
Other times we make comparisons to determine where we are on the social ladder. In this case we tend to compare ourselves with someone we consider as worse off than we are. This is called a “downward social comparison.”
The Negative Consequences of Comparing Yourself to Other People
There’s a downside of comparing yourself to other people.
You will feel depressed.
You may become resentful of those who are seemingly doing better than you are.
You become insecure.
It can paralyse you into inaction resulting in your life stagnating.
The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. – Steven Furtick
How to Stop This Harmful Habit
Focus on what is going well in your own life.
Practice gratitude daily.
Someone once said – Be the standard by which others will be measured. When I finally grasped this truth I stopped comparing myself to others. I’m a lot happier as a result.
Recognise that you are the super hero in your life story. There’s no Superman, Batman or Black Panther hero coming to rescue you. If you’ve locked yourself in your own mental prison it’s time to break out. Super heroes never run away from villains, or give in to them. Instead, they face them, then erase them.
Be graceful enough to never sink down to the level of your persecutors. – Rejoice Denhere
I have an acquiantance, let’s call her Jane, who was raised in a family where everyone has an engineering background. She’s the only girl. Her family lived in a community where girls weren’t treated equally but she defied the odds and qualified as an engineer.
Before the age of 30, Jane was running a successful engineering company supplying equipment to local mines. They found an excellent Australian company which could supply what they needed at competitive prices. The Australian company was also trying to break into the African market so this was a win-win situation for both of them.
The Australian team flew over to finalise the contract. Before the meeting started everyone chatted, sharing a bit of information about themselves. Refreshments were served. It looked like everything was going to go well.
Her second-in-command called the meeting to order and spoke for a bit. The Australian team said their bit. Jane’s second-in-command summarised the details of the contract, then handed the reigns over to Jane. She was the main signatory after all and now it was her turn to decide if she was happy to seal the final deal.
At this point the leader of the Australian team interrupted her. “I didn’t fly all the way from Australia to be handed over to junior level staff like yourself. I only deal with senior management.” Other words were said which I will not repeat here.
During the introductions before the start of the meeting, the man had clearly missed what Jane’s role was. A case of selective hearing, perhaps?
Calm as ever, Jane apologised for having “wasted” his time. She excused herself and walked out of the meeting.
Her team were left wide-mouthed. One ran after her, whilst another tried to explain to the Australian that she was the owner. Well, when he realised he was about to throw millions down the drain he ran after her.
Unfortunately for him no amount of apologising could change her mind.
“I don’t do business with disrespectful bullies.”
Persecutors. In your lifetime you have probably crossed swords with one or two. They attack unexpectedly, from any angle, and for any reason. They have an amazing ability to turn anything into drama.
They’ll persecute you:
For who you are, or for who you are not.
When you succeed, and when you fail.
When lose weight, or gain a few pounds.
When you’re going through hell (they stoke the fire), or when you’re on fire (doing well.) They’ll douse you with water.
I do admire how Jane dealt with her situation. She lost a good deal too, but her sense of self, and her pride would not let her stoop that low.
I’ve always wondered how persecutors can have so much time and energy to spew vernom on others. Do they have no respect? Don’t they have a life? Don’t they have things to do?
Persecutors are bullies. They have probably been at the receiving end of some kind of bullying themselves. Bullied people become bullies.
The strategy I have adopted is to never sink down to the level of bullies and persecutors. I either ignore them, or stand up to them like Jane.
If you have ever failed at anything you will know how hard it is to get up again.
Don’t judge me by how many times I have failed. Judge me on how I have got back up again. – Rejoice Denhere
Bouncingbackfrom failure is not always easy, or straightforward, but it can be done.
You turn failure into success by the simple act of getting up again. That’s how toddlers learn to walk. They get up, fall, and get up again until they can walk. They may be determined to master the art of walking but, when they fall, they don’t always get up on their own. Sometimes they need a helping hand, sometimes they need some encouragement. So do you.
It takes determination to get up again. Get up.
How to Get Up Again
Ask for help. Some situations require you to seek help from others. You may have failed to meet a crucial deadline because you had too much to do. Next time ask for extra help.
Learn from people who have been in a similar situation. Read books or talk to people. Find out how they got out of it.
Listen to your cheer leaders. They are the people who continue to believe in you, and have faith that you have what it takes to succeed. Listen to them instead of the critic in your head. Silence that one.
It takes courage to pick yourself up after you fall. Pick yourself up.
How to Pick Yourself Up
Think of and reflect on your past successes. It will remind you that you’re not a failure. You’ve failed at some things, but you’ve also been quite successful at others.
Look for clues, or patterns which helped you succeed and find a way to apply them to your current situation.
It takes courage to dust yourself and begin again. Begin again.
How to Begin Again
Think about how you could do things better, or differently.
If there is no longer an opportunity to do the same thing again, look for alternatives. When Tim Denning lost his job, he focused on writing. He is now one of the most successful writers on Medium.
There are women who would love to be mothers but can’t conceive. Some choose to adopt children, go the surrogacy route or foster children. It may not be the same as carrying their own baby, but they get the opportunity to be a parent.
It takes even more courage to face your fears, and keep moving. Keep moving.
How to Keep Moving
Tim Denning keeps moving, he keeps growing. His goal is now to become the most read writer on the internet. You can read his article here.
If you show up for life everyday, do your best, and don’t give up, you will eventually succeed.
Face your fears with courage and you may just find that there was nothing to fear after all.
The real heroes in life aren’t the ones you read about in the press. They’re not the ones you watch on television as they receive awards.
The real heroes are those who get up and keep going everyday, even when they don’t feel like it. The ones who show up for life, and give their best, despite the odds being against them. The ones who are not afraid to fail, but fight back, even when life pushes them to the ground.
Turning failure into success is refusing to stay down. You’re the hero of your story, the courageous one, so:
Celebrate your wins, however small. Be proud of your achievements. When life tries to beat you, look it in the eye and say, “Try me!”
Challenge yourself to be more, to do more, to be better than the person you were yesterday. If you don’t challenge yourself, life will challenge you. If you don’t take yourself seriously, life will mock you.
Keep going, keep fighting. Let those who dare to judge you admire how you always get back up again when you fall.
Why not do something today that your future self will thank you for?
We often see notes or letters written to our younger selves.
Don’t worry, everything will turn out alright. (For those nights you stayed up worrying.)
Avoid person “A” because they’ll mess up your life. They are not who they say they are. (For the times you connected with the wrong people because you believed their lies and didn’t trust your inner guidance.)
You’re on the right track. Keep going. (For the times you gave up too soon because you weren’t seeing any results for your efforts.)
You’re more than capable, you are enough. (For the days when you needed valudation from others because you thought you were not good enough.)
Today, why not flip the script and write to your future self? The future self you aspire to be. The one who beats the odds to come out a winner. Tell that future self, “I am going to make you so proud!”
Get rid of negativity and let a bright, beautiful future pull you towards it. It will motivate you to take massive action. The universe will conspire to make that future a reality. Dream of, and work towards the day you will look back and say to your current self, “I’m so proud of you!”