How to Deal with Bullies

Inspirational Quote

Be graceful enough to never sink down to the level of your persecutors. – Rejoice Denhere

I have an acquiantance, let’s call her Jane, who was raised in a family where everyone has an engineering background. She’s the only girl. Her family lived in a community where girls weren’t treated equally but she defied the odds and qualified as an engineer.

Before the age of 30, Jane was running a successful engineering company supplying equipment to local mines. They found an excellent Australian company which could supply what they needed at competitive prices. The Australian company was also trying to break into the African market so this was a win-win situation for both of them.

The Australian team flew over to finalise the contract. Before the meeting started everyone chatted, sharing a bit of information about themselves. Refreshments were served. It looked like everything was going to go well.

Her second-in-command called the meeting to order and spoke for a bit. The Australian team said their bit. Jane’s second-in-command summarised the details of the contract, then handed the reigns over to Jane. She was the main signatory after all and now it was her turn to decide if she was happy to seal the final deal.

At this point the leader of the Australian team interrupted her. “I didn’t fly all the way from Australia to be handed over to junior level staff like yourself. I only deal with senior management.” Other words were said which I will not repeat here.

During the introductions before the start of the meeting, the man had clearly missed what Jane’s role was. A case of selective hearing, perhaps?

Calm as ever, Jane apologised for having “wasted” his time. She excused herself and walked out of the meeting.

Her team were left wide-mouthed. One ran after her, whilst another tried to explain to the Australian that she was the owner. Well, when he realised he was about to throw millions down the drain he ran after her.

Unfortunately for him no amount of apologising could change her mind.

“I don’t do business with disrespectful bullies.”

Persecutors. In your lifetime you have probably crossed swords with one or two. They attack unexpectedly, from any angle, and for any reason. They have an amazing ability to turn anything into drama.

They’ll persecute you:

  • For who you are, or for who you are not.
  • When you succeed, and when you fail.
  • When lose weight, or gain a few pounds.
  • When you’re going through hell (they stoke the fire), or when you’re on fire (doing well.) They’ll douse you with water.

I do admire how Jane dealt with her situation. She lost a good deal too, but her sense of self, and her pride would not let her stoop that low.

I’ve always wondered how persecutors can have so much time and energy to spew vernom on others. Do they have no respect? Don’t they have a life? Don’t they have things to do?

Persecutors are bullies. They have probably been at the receiving end of some kind of bullying themselves. Bullied people become bullies.

The strategy I have adopted is to never sink down to the level of bullies and persecutors. I either ignore them, or stand up to them like Jane.

How To Turn Failure Into Success

If you have ever failed at anything you will know how hard it is to get up again.

Life Quote

Don’t judge me by how many times I have failed. Judge me on how I have got back up again. – Rejoice Denhere

Bouncing back from failure is not always easy, or straightforward, but it can be done.

You turn failure into success by the simple act of getting up again. That’s how toddlers learn to walk. They get up, fall, and get up again until they can walk. They may be determined to master the art of walking but, when they fall, they don’t always get up on their own. Sometimes they need a helping hand, sometimes they need some encouragement. So do you.

It takes determination to get up again. Get up.

How to Get Up Again

Ask for help. Some situations require you to seek help from others. You may have failed to meet a crucial deadline because you had too much to do. Next time ask for extra help.

Learn from people who have been in a similar situation. Read books or talk to people. Find out how they got out of it.

Listen to your cheer leaders. They are the people who continue to believe in you, and have faith that you have what it takes to succeed. Listen to them instead of the critic in your head. Silence that one.

It takes courage to pick yourself up after you fall. Pick yourself up.

How to Pick Yourself Up

Think of and reflect on your past successes. It will remind you that you’re not a failure. You’ve failed at some things, but you’ve also been quite successful at others.

Look for clues, or patterns which helped you succeed and find a way to apply them to your current situation.

It takes courage to dust yourself and begin again. Begin again.

How to Begin Again

Think about how you could do things better, or differently.

If there is no longer an opportunity to do the same thing again, look for alternatives. When Tim Denning lost his job, he focused on writing. He is now one of the most successful writers on Medium.

There are women who would love to be mothers but can’t conceive. Some choose to adopt children, go the surrogacy route or foster children. It may not be the same as carrying their own baby, but they get the opportunity to be a parent.

It takes even more courage to face your fears, and keep moving. Keep moving.

How to Keep Moving

Tim Denning keeps moving, he keeps growing. His goal is now to become the most read writer on the internet. You can read his article here.

If you show up for life everyday, do your best, and don’t give up, you will eventually succeed.

Face your fears with courage and you may just find that there was nothing to fear after all.

Remember This

The real heroes in life aren’t the ones you read about in the press. They’re not the ones you watch on television as they receive awards.

The real heroes are those who get up and keep going everyday, even when they don’t feel like it. The ones who show up for life, and give their best, despite the odds being against them. The ones who are not afraid to fail, but fight back, even when life pushes them to the ground.

Finally

Turning failure into success is refusing to stay down. You’re the hero of your story, the courageous one, so:

  • Celebrate your wins, however small. Be proud of your achievements. When life tries to beat you, look it in the eye and say, “Try me!”
  • Challenge yourself to be more, to do more, to be better than the person you were yesterday. If you don’t challenge yourself, life will challenge you. If you don’t take yourself seriously, life will mock you.
  • Keep going, keep fighting. Let those who dare to judge you admire how you always get back up again when you fall.

Secrets To SUCCESS – Even In This Down Economy

Inspirational Quote on Success

If you want to eat, learn to hunt with hungry people. – Rejoice Denhere

  • Success leaves clues – search for them diligently.
  • Study the good habits of successful people.
  • Adopt and put into practice the ones that resonate with you.
  • Share your knowledge by teaching others to do the same.

When you are ready to upgrade your life these steps are essential. Your life is a reflection of the five people you closely associate with.

Here’s to your success!

A Note to Your Future Self

Why not do something today that your future self will thank you for?

Life Inspiration

We often see notes or letters written to our younger selves.

Don’t worry, everything will turn out alright. (For those nights you stayed up worrying.)

Avoid person “A” because they’ll mess up your life. They are not who they say they are. (For the times you connected with the wrong people because you believed their lies and didn’t trust your inner guidance.)

You’re on the right track. Keep going. (For the times you gave up too soon because you weren’t seeing any results for your efforts.)

You’re more than capable, you are enough. (For the days when you needed valudation from others because you thought you were not good enough.)

Today, why not flip the script and write to your future self? The future self you aspire to be. The one who beats the odds to come out a winner. Tell that future self, “I am going to make you so proud!”

Get rid of negativity and let a bright, beautiful future pull you towards it. It will motivate you to take massive action. The universe will conspire to make that future a reality. Dream of, and work towards the day you will look back and say to your current self, “I’m so proud of you!”

You Can Create a Better Future

Your future is created by the things you do daily. When you practice good habits consistently, you can change your future outcomes.

Inspirational Quote

Ask yourself, “What one thing can I change today that will make my tomorrow better?” – Rejoice Denhere

5 Powerful Life Lessons From a Parable

There’s a fascinating parable in the Bible which I never used to pay much attention to. It tells the story of 10 virgins who were invited to a wedding. It appears that their role was to welcome the bridegroom and probably use their lamps to light up the pathway.

The bridegroom did not arrive when he was expected. The delay was so long that the young ladies ran out of oil for their lamps. Five of them had brought extra oil with them and refilled their lamps. The other five, who only had the oil in their lamps and no extra, turned to their companions to ask for some.

“Give us some of your oil,” they begged.

“Go and buy your own,” was the response they received.

At midnight the bridegroom arrived. The five virgins who had extra oil for their lamps trimmed them and rose to welcome him. The other five had to go and buy more oil and missed the whole celebration!

There are five great life lessons in this parable.

1. Always Be Prepared

We all know that opportunity knocks at least once in every person’s life. The problem is that no-one knows when that will happen.

Sometimes people fail to recognise opportunity because it usually shows up in the form of a problem that needs solving or work to be done. If you’re not on the lookout for it, you could easily miss it.

Helpful Actions You Can Take

  • Keep your skills up to date.
  • Look out for opportunities.
  • Network with others in your circle or field. They may know things you have overlooked and could share their knowledge with you.
  • When opportunity knocks make sure you’re prepared.

2. Have a Contingency Plan

You may have big dreams for yourself which you are working towards. This could be:

  • Starting a business.
  • Getting married.
  • Starting a family.
  • Buying a house.
  • Buying a car.

While working towards your dreams you may encounter obstacles or experience delays. It doesn’t mean you should give up, you may just need to take a different route to the one you had originally planned.

Helpful Actions You Can Take

  • Explore alternative options for reaching your goals.
  • Scale down if necessary.
  • Seek help or advice from those who have succeeded in doing what you are trying to accomplish.

3. Be Patient

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Some things take time. You may see other people succeeding but you don’t know the whole story. You might be coming in at the end of the movie, just at the point when their happy ending begins.

Also remember that great things take time to build. Some people are only in the game for a short while. Recognise where you are at and be patient.

Helpful Actions You Can Take

  • Be patient by taking it one day at a time.
  • Keep your eyes on the goal.
  • Set yourself a reward you can look forward to if you manage to wait it out.

4. Don’t reveal all you know

The five wise virgins never disclosed the fact that they had extra oil. It makes you wonder if perhaps they also knew that the bridegroom would be delayed – perhaps from previous experiences.

Either way, they did not jeopardise their resources by disclosing how much oil they had.

Helpful Actions You Can Take

  • Practice discretion.
  • Don’t publicise your goals.
  • Don’t announce your moves before you make them.

5. Recognise the Difference Between Helping and Carrying Dead Weight

The Free Dictionary defines dead weight as:

A burden that holds someone or something else back or prevents progress; someone or something that when handled or associated with conveys only difficulty and not benefit.

Source: The Free Dictionary

“Give us some of your oil,” the five foolish virgins pleaded.

“No, you can go and buy your own,” the five wise virgins replied.

They recognised that by sharing their oil they were risking losing the opportunity of a lifetime. A moment they had prepared for and had been looking forward to.

People will call you out for being selfish if you refuse to help them. However, the person you need to help first is yourself. You can’t help anybody else if you’re not in a good place. Learn to recognise people who aren’t bothered with helping themselves and are forever relying on other people.

Helpful Actions You Can Take

  • Set healthy boundaries in your life and relationships.
  • Enforce boundaries whenever anyone tries to violate them.
  • Be true to your goals, vision or mission.