“Not all pain is equal.” We should really come up with different words for pain that helps you grow and pain that destroys.
Pain That Builds
When you go to the gym and start building muscle it’s hard work, it’s painful but it’s good pain. I remember the first time I started running. I had always run for trains and buses so how different could this be? I put on my running gear, strapped on my running shoes and off I went.
I will never forget that day. Halfway through the run I wished I had strapped an extra pair of lungs on my back. Every single part of my body ached. My eyes were watering, my teeth, even my gums hurt. The situation improved after I joined the Couch to 5k programme. With a coach guiding me every step of the way I was soon able to comfortably run 5km non-stop. Lots of sweat but no extra lungs needed. Just a bottle of water.
Pain That Hurts
People suffer and die because someone tells them that the pain they are suffering (emotional, mental, spiritual or physical) is good for them. The victims endure an unacceptable state of circumstances based on misplaced trust in people with no insight; people who don’t bother asking what the pain is or what is causing it.
When people take their lives there are always comments like, “They could have asked for help.” As if they didn’t. Let’s stop disrespecting a victim’s intelligence. The question here is, “Were you really listening and hearing what was being said?” Repeating cliches like “It’s going to be okay” is kind, it’s nice but is not always helpful.
Take time to listen to what people are saying. Their behaviour and actions speak louder than their words. If you don’t know what to say or do, refer them to someone who does.